February 18, 2016…6:00 AM
Today is the day God has been preparing me for. I wouldn’t see it until now. The people, the words, the circumstances that have been aligned into my life that would direct my thoughts and guide my prayers.
1 Samuel 30:1-8, 18, 19
vs 8: Should I chase after this band of raiders? Will I catch them? And the Lord told him, “Yes, go after them. You will surely recover everything that was taken from you!”
vs 18: David got back everything the Amalekites had taken, and he rescued his two wives. -NLT
“The devil has raided my home. Just as the enemy stole David’s wife, the enemy has stolen my husband. As the Lord told David to chase after his enemy, I chase after my enemy! I hold to God’s promise to recover everything that was taken from me. I will rescue my husband from the enemy. Thank you for that promise.”
Every hour on the hour I had my alarm set to my phone “Pray”. Every hour on the hour I sat down in the middle of my living room floor, removed my house shoes, opened my Bible, and laid out my book and my prayer journal. Every hour on the hour, through the 9th hour, I prayed and completely immersed myself in God’s word and His presence.
7:00 AM Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
“Lord, I come to you boldly-confidently- knowing you have us in your hands. I need you now more than ever. I need your strength, I need your grace, I need your mercy, I need your forgiveness and compassion. You paid a price for me that I could come to you and ask these things. Help our hearts heal. Restore me. Restore Chad. Individually and then join us again as one.”
8:00 AM Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
“A prayer for my husband. That he leans on God and not his own thoughts and will…Allowing God to speak in his heart will guide his thoughts and action in the right direction. The direction of his family.”
9:00 AM Mark 10:4-9
“Lord, Chad’s heart is hard right now. His hardened heart has lead him to this idea of divorce. It is in your written word that divorce is a result of hardened hearts. Break Chad’s hardened heart. Soften it again. Your promise is that no one split us apart. We are joined as one.”
10:00 AM 1 Peter 3:1-2
“Lord, let me be submissive to my husband. Let me follow him with honor and respect. Let me honor and respect his word and opinion. It is my job and duty as wife to follow respectfully and without complaint. I should have been doing it all along. Don’t let it be too late. Let me have the opportunity to show that to him again. Let me be able to show him that I respect his word and his voice and his decisions. Let him see that I am not grasping at straws to keep him Let him see that I am genuine. I have a genuine heart for him.”
11:00 AM Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 4:6
“Lord help me to speak with Chad today with gentleness and love and respect. Let my voice and words encourage him. Let my presence soften him. Allow his heart and spirit to receive my words and voice as soothing. Calm his soul. Calm his spirit. Make it still so that he can hear you clearly.”
Up until this point I had been taking time during each hour to read and pray with a scripture and write my own personal prayer according to how that scripture spoke to me. During the noon hour I felt compelled to pray through the entire hour. Exodus 40:9 would be my inspiration for the noon hour. “Take the anointing oil and anoint the Tabernacle and all its furnishings to consecrate them and make them holy.”
So I proceeded to anoint my house! I got out my big bottle of olive oil and I laid hands on every surface that I thought my husband might even come close to coming in contact with! I anointed the door frame so as he passed through it into our home he was crossing the blood of Jesus. I sprinkled and poured oil across the entire front of the house, down the steps, into the driveway, and across the entrance of the driveway from the street. The moment Chad entered onto this property he was entering holy ground. Grounds and a home that was fully dedicated to the Lord. I plead the blood of Jesus on this property so that negatively could not even step foot here. Destruction could not abide here! The devil was forbidden to step foot on these grounds or to enter into my home! Lord, surround us with your protecting power and shield us from the enemies attacks and misdirection!
1:00 PM Ephesians 4:31-32
“Lord, take any bitterness inside me toward Chad away. Do not allow me to be vengeful in my speech. Let him see a tenderness in me toward him. Likewise, God, do not allow bitterness and malice enter with Chad. Do not let him have the slightest thought of deception or manipulation, or hatred. Melt him. Soften him so that he is tender and desires to be gentle. Allow him to forgive me for everything I have done and every way I have treated him and everything he thinks I have done. Lord, break the walls down around him and his heart.”
2:00 PM Psalms 88 1:-2
“I cry for my husband. I cry out for my husband. Hear me God. Listen to me God. Feel my pain. Feel my sorrow, my loss. Let Chad feel sorrow and loss for what he has walked away from. Let him cry to you. Hear his cries. A reconstruction can only be done with a complete breaking. We are completely broken Lord. Allow our brokenness to be the building blocks of a newly reconstructed marriage and relationship. Rebuild us piece by piece into a glorious new masterpiece.”
3:00 PM-the 9th Hour
John 17:4 (KJ) I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do. vs 5 (NLT) Now, Father, bring me into the glory…
In Jesus final prayer-his final hour on earth-the ninth hour-he said “it is finished.” His work is finished and it is time to go home. Lord, in this final hour-this ninth hour-I declare victory in the finish! I have done the work. Prayed, sought your face, loved-for these nine hours I suffered through torment of the devils lies and his thievery. I am claiming victory and holding to your promises. I am claiming my husband and going home. I have finished.
Within the hour Chad would be here. I spent the entire day preparing my mind, my spirit and my home…now it was time to prepare my body! I had to get PERTY for my man! Freshly showered, blow dried and straightened my hair, and fixed my makeup. I want him to walk in that door and be awe struck with the beauty of the woman standing before him! I want his heart to skip a beat with an attraction that he hasn’t felt in a long time, if ever. I wanted him to see me with fresh eyes as a different woman, a new woman.
I prayed that Chad would be given a plan and a strategy of his own. That he would set criteria for me to meet. That God would fill his mind with ideas of the woman he wants to love and that I would portray those exact ideas. I prayed that God would equip me and guide me to fulfill every desire, every standard, every hope that Chad had set. God, let me be the woman of my husband’s dreams, the desire of his heart.
When my husband arrived it was…awkward. I truly did not know what to say. I offered him dinner, which he politely declined. I could see him looking around noticing the little changes I had made. He complimented the new pictures that were hanging. At one point he walked in the bedroom and he commented on the new bedding. After visiting with the kids and dogs for a bit, it was time to face the difficult stuff. This was the moment of truth.
What happened next and the words that were spoken was nothing short of a miracle. Chad started by telling me he has been doing a lot of thinking…and praying. “I have decided not to file for divorce…YET.”…hey, I’LL TAKE IT!…Now, that does not mean he was ready to come home. As a matter of fact he said he still would not be coming home, for quite awhile actually. He still can’t be in this house with me. He still does not love me. As a matter of fact he does not even look at me as his wife. Instead, he would like to start fresh…a guy meets a girl, they go out, see how it goes, see if there is an attraction, and then just build from there. He still has hurt and bitterness when he looks at me…I dare even say hatred. But for the sake of the kids and all that we have invested in this marriage he is willing to see if there is hope for it to be salvaged down the road. So, he’s going to let ME take HIM out on a date!
There were some rules..(hmm, sounds like he’s got a strategy and plan!)…this was to be like first date status…no wedding rings, no holding hands, hugging, kissing (unless HE felt led to initiate it), no talk of “our family”…just a simple boy meet girl date. If after the conclusion of the date he felt the attraction kindling, the desire to see me again, then he would ask me out on another date. He was allowing me 2 weeks to win his heart and affection. If at the end of the 2 weeks he still felt nothing but resentment and disgust, the divorce was back on the table and there was probably nothing I could do at that point to change his mind.
As harsh and unreasonable as some of this may sound, it was absolute music to my ears! Immediately I felt a huge weight was lifted and the tight grasp around my heart had been loosened. EXACTLY what I had asked God to make happen was happening right before my eyes…in real time! I asked God to give him a plan so I just KNEW He was going to help me to fit that plan! I had no doubt in that moment that my husband would be coming home.
I agreed with everything Chad had to say. I spoke softly and answered gently. I did not challenge anything he said and accepted his proposition with contained excitement. 2 weeks didn’t seem like very much time at all to come to such an important and detrimental decision, but I knew it was just the right amount of time for God. After all, He MUST have been the one behind this thought out plan.
As Chad walked out the door I made it a point to say “I love you” as I have missed so many opportunities to say in the past. I closed the door, not leaving any time for response so as not to make him feel obligated to respond…still this would turn out to have been a bad move!